Tuesday, January 22

This conversation has yet to take place.

Him: So, why don’t you ever talk to me anymore?
…..
Him: Really, are you mad at me or something, why won’t you talk to me?
Me: I’m not mad at you. I just don’t want to talk to you anymore.
Him: Umm okay…. Any particular reason why?
Me: I told you I’m one of the most honest people you’ll ever meet. So I can tell you why – I don’t mind. But do you want to know?
Him: Well, yea. Sure.
Me: To be quite honest, you’re pretty mean to me, and I guess I just find it unnecessary.
Him: I told you, that’s how I am with everyone. I don’t mean anything but it.
Me: No, I don’t think you understand. You’ve been pretty downright mean with the way you’ve treated me. If I haven’t made it clear enough by now, for some strange token of fate, I actually like you, ok? Maybe it’s only because you’re the first guy I kissed since breaking up with my ex, maybe it’s because I actually enjoy talking to you about things, or maybe it’s just because I can’t have you. Either way, I like you and you know this.
Me: And It’s not that I can’t be friends with a guy I like, or a guy who has rejected me. Hell, my best friend is an ex boyfriend that I’m freaking in love with. In fact, I was best friends with a guy I liked who knew I liked him, dated my best friend and through this we became better friends. See, I can get past these things pretty easily and there was actually a period of time where I was over you.
Me: But you, on and off, you like me and you don’t. I’ve given you a million outs to just pick one and you refuse. Whatever- You set me up with your roommate, out of your own free will. Then you have the balls to say “I should have dated you when I had the chance”. When I’m trying to be just friends with you, you drag that crap up again. And I can think of a million reasons for why you’re doing what you do. You’re trying to spare my feelings, you’re not sure if you like me, you want what you can’t have, or you’re just afraid of relationships.
Me: At the end of the day, I’ve made myself pretty clear and I know that if you wanted something out of me, all you have to do is make up some lame excuse to hang out. Hell, you don’t even need a lame excuse; all you needed to is call or even freaking message me and try to make plans. But you don’t. I’m not stupid and I’m not a glutton for punishment. In all, there is no way this friendship or whatever is going to be at all healthy for me. So that’s why I stopped talking to you.